Fashion Police: You have the right to remain choice-less!

Recently in Twittersphere, Ayesha Curry, wife of NBA player Stephen Curry, set social media on fire with comments regarding the state of dress in fashion now a days.

Of course, the barrage of mixed responses came spewing forth. A few women agrees with her saying "girls will show everything and then wonder why guys only ask them for nudes like.." and "Women should always respect their body by covering their-selves." While others weren't as impressed, stating that "okay this ayesha curry thing.. preferring to be covered up is fine but the way she worded it was condescending and slut-shamey" and "no one cares if @ayeshacurry dresses like a nun, I'm still gonna wear a short dress if I want too and it doesn't reflect my value." Needless to say she later on posted another tweet to clarify her earlier comments and to emphasize that she's not about tearing down or degrading women.

By then the damage had already been done and a lengthy debate ensued about modesty and how women should look and what they should wear. My question is...exactly who set the standard for "modesty"? More importantly, why should we follow a standard that places women's value based on what they wear? In my opinion, women shouldn't have to answer to anyone about what we choose to wear. More importantly, the fact is that whether we cover up or show more skin is no depiction of who we are or what we are worth. Otherwise we are saying yes to typical stereotypes and generalizations. A woman who chooses wears short shorts/skirts or tight dresses should not automatically be seen as a "slut" or as "trashy". Neither should a woman who wears long dresses or loose fitting clothing automatically be seen as "classy" or "modest". What we choose to wear is more of an expression of who we are, not an indication!

In fact, women who chastize other women based on how they dress are being counter productive in the fight against the gender stereotypes and negative labels that affect women today. We are taught that we are judged solely based on our appearance yet the lines that have been drawn are so blurred that it can be very hard to follow! For example, if we dress too feminine then we can't be taken seriously. If we dress too masculine then we're not feminine enough. Wearing too much makeup makes us fake and wearing to little or none at all makes us plain. If we wear our natural hair it makes us look "unkempt or unprofessional" but if we don't then we're denying our roots. There's even opinions on how we should dress based on our gender, our religion, our race, our social status...it's overwhelming!

Society has placed these ridiculous "ideas" of what's acceptable or what's attractive and we fail to question who exactly came up with this crap! Well I think its time for us to change the conversation. Its time that we stop buying into the misogynistic views of society that blame women for dressing too enticingly and "causing men to rape them", or tells women that they are to dress a certain way when they are single versus when they are in a relationship because we have to please "our men", or one that brainwashes us into thinking that we must strive to be a "certain size" in order to meet the unattainable "standards of beauty". The best thing about our community is that we are so beautifully diverse and that is something that should be celebrated...not hidden behind what society tells us we all should look like.

As women of color, we have dare to make our own choices and draw our own lines so that the world knows that we cannot be defined by their narrowminded idea of who we are or how we should look in order to reflect that. Take back your love for the skin you are in by knowing that the best part about deciding whether or not to "show some skin" is the choice itself. Understand that for some women showing more is sexy, while for other it is showing less. Most importantly, when you are at the point where you feel the need to make a negative comment about a fellow sister's fashion choices remember that she is just as free to choose as you are and that its honestly not your concern. As for Mrs. Curry, if the way you choose to dress is the truest expression of you then do you boo boo! Just think twice before using negative words to describe or put down women of may have a difference of opinion. Before I close this thing out I want to leave this one last point with you guys...